Domestic abuse on International Women's Day
[Photos] Members of the My CWA family strike the #EachforEqual pose | International Women’s Day 2020
Domestic abuse in the UK
Domestic abuse impacts thousands of people in the UK every day. It’s not an issue that should remain behind closed doors – see our Open the Door campaign for more about that – and it’s not something that’s going to go away on its own.
We know that domestic abuse is a gendered crime. Statistically, women are more likely to be the victims of domestic abuse and men are more likely to be perpetrators.* In fact, at least two women every week are killed by a current or former partner in England and Wales.
Tackling domestic abuse in the UK
Tackling domestic abuse requires a commitment from government. It requires a commitment from the legal system. It requires a commitment from anyone who suspects domestic abuse is happening to speak up and ensure those at risk are offered help. It requires a commitment from perpetrators to accept responsibility for their actions and work on changing their own harmful behaviour.
Tackling domestic abuse requires an overriding commitment from society to challenge harmful gender stereotypes. We need to teach our boys that it’s ok to be caring and loving and sensitive. We must teach our girls that they’re allowed to be assertive and stand up for themselves – that they don’t have to accept toxic masculinity as the norm within their relationships.
Tackling domestic abuse requires a commitment from everyone.
Domestic abuse on International Women’s Day
Domestic abuse in the UK is very much an issue for International Women’s Day. We want to empower women to speak up and seek help if they’re concerned about their own relationships. We want to help women find the courage to leave their abusers. We want women who aren’t ready to leave their abusers to find ways to stay safe. We want women who have left abusive relationships to be able to spot the early warning signs when they start new relationships. We want women to know that can end any relationship for any reason. That they’re in control of their own lives.
We also want women to know that they’re not alone. We want women who are frightened and lonely and broken to know that there is hope. Hope for a brighter, more positive future. Hope for a happy life that’s free from fear.
What the Each for Equal campaign means for domestic abuse survivors
Each for Equal is the campaign theme for International Women's Day 2020. The campaign highlights ‘Collective Individualism’ – the way our individual actions, conversations, behaviours and mindsets can have an impact on our larger society.
The Each for Equal campaign shows us that we all have a shared responsibility to challenge stereotypes, fight bias, broaden perceptions, improve situations and celebrate women's achievements. We have a collective ability to create a gender equal world.
It isn’t the sole responsibility of domestic abuse survivors to address the issue of domestic abuse. Collective Individualism could be the answer. By changing our individual everyday thoughts and actions, we can help to create an equal and enabled world. A world where domestic abuse is challenged. A world where women are listened to. A world where crimes against women are punished appropriately.
What the Each for Equal campaign means for everyone
The Each for Equal campaign makes gender equality everyone’s responsibility. Domestic abuse isn’t a women’s issue. It’s an EVERYONE issue.
If you’re reading this now, take this chance to play your part in tackling domestic abuse. Raise your children to challenge damaging gender stereotypes. Question your own perceptions. Think about how your actions, conversations and behaviours are contributing to a society where gender inequality exists and domestic abuse continues to ruin lives.
If you suspect that domestic abuse is happening within a family or relationship close to you – friends, neighbours, family members, work colleagues, gym buddies, whatever… speak up. Make sure everyone knows you’re committed to creating a gender equal world. A world where everyone can live free from fear.
Taking responsibility – “I chose this”
Most abusers don’t see themselves as abusers. There will always be someone out there who is ‘worse’ than you. You never laid a finger on her. It only happened once. It only happens when you’re drunk. She knows how to push your buttons. There will always be excuses.
If you’re aware that your own behaviour is harmful, now is the time to accept responsibility for your actions. No-one pushed your buttons. Aggressive, frightening, controlling and coercive behaviour can leave hidden scars just as deep as physical abuse. You chose this. You can choose to change.
The future of domestic abuse: our vision
Here at My CWA we have a clear vision:
A healthy community where adults and children can live free from the fear of domestic abuse.
This isn’t an issue that women/domestic abuse survivors can tackle in isolation. It requires a true commitment from everyone. Our vision might seem ambitious but it is certainly achievable if we’re all prepared to work together towards reaching this shared goal.
Please have a read of our website for more about how we can help you. Or contact us now if you need to talk: 01270 250390 / info@mycwa.org.uk
You’re not alone.
* We know that men can be victims too. We know that domestic abuse can happen in all types of intimate family relationships.
We know this because we support people from all kinds of different backgrounds – including male and female victims and male and female perpetrators – to get the help they need if they’ve experienced domestic abuse.
This article discusses the issue of domestic abuse carried out by men against women because it’s an article written for International Women’s Day.