What If!!!

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What If!!!

What if I acted differently,
Would you still be here with me?
Do I deserve this torment?
     Maybe I do.
Am I to be alone forever?
I don’t think I can stand it.

Maybe you deserve it I hear
     the inner me say.
I don’t deserve happiness
I don’t I really don’t.

But what if I meet someone I
think I will spoil it.
Am I really ready?
Will I just push them away?

Am I scared to love again?
I probably am.
Is it love I really feel?
I really don’t know!!!

– ANON, 2020

 
Saskia