Help for same-sex couples
LGBT History Month 2021
It’s LGBT History Month, so we’re taking the opportunity to tell you more about our history of providing support to same-sex couples who have experienced domestic abuse.
As with any relationship, abuse involves a pattern of behaviour designed to control and coerce. It can be physical, emotional, verbal, sexual or financial. Abuse doesn’t discriminate. It can happen to anyone. Gay or straight. Married or unmarried. Anyone.
Domestic abuse in LGBT relationships
Acknowledging abuse can be really difficult in any relationship, but within LGBT relationships, victims often experience additional abusive behaviour.
Some encounter abuse from family members when they come out. Others are convinced by their partner that they won’t be taken seriously if they report abuse. This is just another form of control designed to keep you in your place. And for many domestic abuse victims, it works.
How do I know if my same-sex relationship is abusive?
First of all, trust your gut. Is your instinct is telling you that certain behaviour isn’t right? Do you feel like your relationship is making you miserable? Is there a correlation between your partner’s behaviour towards you and the escalation of any mental health issues? Trust those feelings and reach out for help now.
There are loads of different harmful behaviours that can happen within abusive LGBT relationships. Think about whether your partner has ever…
Tried to control or manipulate you into doing what they want you to.
Told you their behaviour isn’t abusive because they didn’t physically hurt you.
Accused you of being over-sensitive when you call them out on their behaviour.
Promised to change their behaviour after a blow up, but fallen back into their old ways when you stay.
Made you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells.
Refused to take responsibility for their actions.
Made you feel responsible for their abusive / harmful behaviour.
Blamed their behaviour on drink, drugs or a mental health illness.
NONE of these examples are acceptable within healthy relationships.
How My CWA can help you
We specialise in providing a whole family service to anyone affected by domestic abuse. That includes adult and child victims, people who harm and worried friends and family.
Many of the people we support feel completely alone until they approach us for help – and for same-sex couples and families, this feeling can be even more intense because there’s still an underlying belief that no-one out there wants to help same-sex couples. But we do.
We’ve got crisis accommodation for people who need to leave urgently, counselling services, recovery programmes and support groups. And we can help people who harm to accept responsibility for their actions and change the way they treat others.
We’re not here to judge or tell you what to do. We’re here to listen, support and help you move forwards towards a life that is free from fear.
Get help today
Whether you’re worried about your relationship, your own harmful behaviour or you’re concerned about a loved one, contact My CWA today for support.
There’s lots of information on our website about what domestic abuse can look like, our helpline is open 24/7 – or you can drop us an email if you’d rather write things down.
You’re not alone.