World Poetry Day 2020
Lots of the people we support use poetry as a coping mechanism. A way of exploring their thoughts and feelings. Of making sense of everything that’s happened. To celebrate World Poetry Day, we’d like to share some poems written by members of our My CWA family.
Thank you SO much to those of you who have given permission for us to share some of your most heart-felt words. We know it isn’t easy to tell the world how you’re feeling, but we want your poems to inspire others to have a go.
There are no rules to writing poetry, so why not give it a try?
Remember Me
Remember me the scared lonely woman, who was so fragile the word boo would break me. The person who did so much for you. Who would walk to the moon and back of they could. Who did so much for you just for you to tear me apart. Made me feel so worthless. Made me hate myself and I had to hide away from the world. I had to hide behind a mask of fake smiles, pretending that I'm OK. Trying to keep things together when inside I was falling apart. To feel everything was my fault. l wasn't good enough. Well remember me. I am the better stronger braver woman. I am speaking out. I will stand proud and believe in myself. No more will you keep me down. I have done myself proud. I am worthy of a happy healthy me. I have finally realised I don't need you. Your lies your bitterness, nothing. So remember me - the brave warrior.
– ANON, 2020
What If!!!
What if I acted differently,Would you still be here with me?
Do I deserve this torment?
Maybe I do.
Am I to be alone forever?
I don’t think I can stand it.
Maybe you deserve it I hear
the inner me say.
I don’t deserve happiness
I don’t I really don’t.
But what if I meet someone I
think I will spoil it.
Am I really ready?
Will I just push them away?
Am I scared to love again?
I probably am.
Is it love I really feel?
I really don’t know!!!
– ANON, 2020
My Truth (Thank You)
After everything we’ve been through I still want you to win,
I wish the man I loved and fell for could have returned from deep within.
You were different from the start, relentless, fearless and sweet,
My smile grew more daily and my heart began to beat.
People always commented on how you weren’t my type,
But I was confident in our pairing, you were my Mr Right.
For the first time in my life, I declared my love worldwide,
I trusted you implicitly, I cared, stood by your side.
I fell deeper by the day, our exchanges became special,
For the first time this was real for me, true love not superficial.
All my loved ones welcomed you because they saw our feelings grow,
Everywhere I went people made reference to my glow.
Secure, confident and sexy was how you made me feel.
Like there was no competition on the planet, you were the real deal.
For the first time in my life I was open, raw and true,
I wasn’t tempted by ANY other man simply because I had you.
All of a sudden you disappeared without explanation or logic,
Then you returned and were different, drunken, angry sad and tragic.
I ended it to show you just how much your actions hurt,
But you were nasty and dismissive and you spoke to me like dirt.
You somehow made me responsible so I fought to get you back,
I remember how confused I was you were cold, uninterested, love lacked.
When I gave up and said goodbye, your whole demeanour changed,
Once again you were the King I met, apologetic, loving, unchanged.
I needed to understand what it was we’d just been through,
But when I came I was horrified at the state of you.
A weekend binge of drugs and alcohol was the admission that you’d spoken,
You were helpless, scared, a boy, hungover, emotional and broken.
I truly believed this was a blip and you needed my support,
I worked hard on us, in time fell pregnant, but I considered to abort.
You were hysterical, upset and disgusted with my words,
Certain of your love for me to get rid was absurd.
You stepped up, were more attentive, working, building, seemed content,
You blossomed into a Father figure you proposed and it was meant.
You were thoughtful, helpful, protective towards me and our new life,
I was ecstatic about Motherhood and becoming your new Wife.
As the pregnancy went on you changed and focused solely on yourself,
Began to dislike my family and seemed careless of my health.
You blamed this on our living arrangements and encouraged me to move,
Then when I did you broke me down because my support had been removed.
6 months pregnant, still at work and trying to create a home,
You were selfish, careless, distant and I was all alone.
You promised that you would help, we were becoming family,
But when it came to it you were unreliable and all I had was me.
Tuesday the 4th December 2018,
The day our Prince arrived, you and I were King and Queen.
Giving birth I lost so much blood that I almost didn’t make it,
Without you would I be here? Perhaps you saved my life I admit.
We had 1 week of perfection, we were a family,
Christmas around the corner and I decorated our tree.
You were absent, sad and angry, you became volatile,
I became inverted, mute and Christmas Eve and Day were vile.
New Year’s Eve came and went, that was terrible too,
I knew enough was enough my son deserved a happier environment, a new.
I ended our relationship but you will always be a Dad,
For that very reason I was amicable but you treated me so bad.
I jumped through hoops to ensure that you remained our baby's hero,
I was anxious, ill a failure, trying hard you gave me zero.
Constant calls, messages and threats was what I now lived through,
Whilst you were out there living life and painting me as cruel.
Your fun, friendships and feelings became the centre of your heart,
There was little financial help and you tore my world apart.
All respect you had was gone, women, alcohol, drugs and lies.
How could I let my poor judgement impact so many other lives?
Mum’s, Dad’s, Brother’s, Sister’s, Nieces, Nephews and our Son’s?
I let every one of them down, holding onto something that was gone.
The man I met did not last long, but managed to change my life,
You smashed my soul to smithereens whilst claiming to want me as your wife.
What’s upsetting is you love me and I really loved you too,
Despite your love you can’t treat me right, a sad reality that’s true.
You begged me back and I tried again with all your promises of change,
It doesn’t matter what I do because you will always be the same.
It was against my better judgement that I made the choice to stay,
Hindsight now shows me that I should have always walked away.
I used to blame myself hormones, my body or our sex?
I tried to stay with all my being but my confidence you wrecked.
Your compliments now meant nothing, your smiles translucent, fake,
I overanalysed all of my flaws my self-love now self-hate.
You raised your hands in temper and I cowardly held your secret,
Convincing myself I’m strong and that you love me and regret.
The emotional pain hurts more than your kicks and punches ever did,
I’m glad I found the strength to walk for our Son, I got rid.
Times can be hard but that’s okay because our little boy is happy,
I’m a full-time Mum, but still myself building a life for us that’s classy.
I’m slowly beginning to love myself even better than before,
Our baby makes it easier as his mummy he adores.
I sincerely want to thank you as you’ve made me learn my strength,
I know my worth because of you my opportunities have no lengths.
I wish you all the best in life and I forgive you for the pain,
It’s okay to make mistakes in life, learning from them is our gain.
– "Pharron," 2020
Follow Your Dreams
Never look back! Because you're not going that way!
Your mind maybe saying turn around!
But your heart is saying NOWAY!
Always look forward! Because that's what your future holds!
Let go of yesterday and hold onto today!
Failure is a cloud raining blue DIY! Before the sunshine!
Life is a dream our hearts redeem!
Only you can say, “HAY I’M HERE FOR TODAY!”
Only glance back to wave the past away!
Hold on for today, let go of yesterday!
SMILE, HOLD YA HEAD HIGH!
Say HURRAY for today!
Now you’re on ya way!
– Lisa Carter.
Raindrops
The raindrops trickle like my tears down the window screen,
Another lonely hurtful day – many of which I’ve seen.
He darkens my days and my nights,
With spiteful words trying to start fights.
He pulls me apart and strips me bare,
Of happiness and confidence without a care.
His harmful words hurt me deep down inside,
Like a wound seeping I have to try and hide.
He makes what should be a happy loving home,
A place where I feel so very alone.
– ANON, 2020
New beginnings…
The year I escaped and finally got my peace
The year that the fear and tears began to cease.
The year my wings I unclipped and got free
The year I could finally be the real me.
The year I was reminded who I really am,
The year I remembered that – YES I CAN!
The year human kindness rocked my world,
The year I was surrounded by my amazing girls.
The year no-one could tell me that I am weak,
The year the cruel words couldn’t make me meek.
The year I stopped feeling so very alone,
The year I wasn’t afraid to go home.
The year the positive happy girl returned,
The year I realised how much I had learned.
The year I know I finally closed that book,
The year I rediscovered what he took.
– ANON, 2020
Through our whole family service, we help anyone who’s been affected by domestic abuse. Women, men, children. People who have been hurt - physically or emotionally - by their partner. People who have harmed their partner or family members. We help people in same-sex relationships, married people, unmarried people. We also support concerned friends and family members who have seen their loved ones experiencing domestic abuse.
Contact us today if you need to talk. You’re not alone.